It's Time, I'm Ready
by BonesBird
Summary: Erika, accepting that the end of the line has come, records a message to her family, and faces her destiny head on.


**So, after Sons of Anarchy last night my friend foreverana challenged me to write a thing for this prompt. It fits in to my post-Romulan War series, but won't ACTUALLY be a part of the series. This is all angst and there are implications of torture... because I'm a horrible person. I'll update the last two chapters of WKODHIB too. Then I'm off to visit PinkAngel17 tomorrow. Fun, huh? So. Anyway. Enjoy.**

**Shin xx**

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><p>"<strong>It's okay. My baby boy. It's time. I'm ready." <strong>_**Gemma 'Sons of Anarchy'**_

The original mission had been simple, she was inspecting an outpost. It had been a week since she had been kidnapped. They had murdered every one of her team there in front of her, she had watched, as emotionlessly as she could. Today though, she knew it was time that it was her turn. They had made her record a message for Starfleet. Explaining their position, their terms. It didn't matter know. She'd never be home again.

"I want to make one for my family. To say goodbye. It's my last request." That was the most worried, and pained, she'd been in a long time. She wanted to say goodbye to her family, and let them know they were the last thing she was thinking of.

"Very well." He said, seconds later. She hadn't been sure he would actually let her record it. It seemed as though they weren't taking away the equipment. That was a relief.

Erika took a deep breath, then tried to smile despite the pain and the damage that had been done to her face. Her captors had agreed she could make this message, saying goodbye to her family. After she'd made the video that would be sent to Starfleet, explaining why her death had been necessary. She still hadn't seen the faces of her captors, she didn't know who they were. This hadn't been the first time she'd been held hostage though, but it would be the last. She was never going to leave this room again, she knew that.

A blinking light started again, telling her that the feed was recording, and she had to think of what to say, how to start what was going to be that last thing her family ever saw from her. "I'm sorry that you're getting this message, and that I couldn't make it home."

"Jon, you saved me last time, and I know you wish that you could save me this time. But I'm OK, baby. It's time and I'm ready." She just wanted to absolve her husband of the guilt she was sure he was feeling now. When she'd been held by the Orions 13 years earlier. This time, she wasn't getting home.

"Serena, my dear, sweet Bunny. Make sure your brother is OK, and that your dad doesn't take too much on. Keep on with your languages." She had to say goodbye to her children, both of them. Serena was so talented, and she would be amazing at anything she wanted to do when she was older. This was beginning to break her heart.

"Henry, my dear little boy." Her son was only three years old. He was going to spend his entire life without a mother. "You are going to be so clever, and so loved. Please know your mommy always loves you, both of you, and I always will." It was only now that the tears began to fall, because she knew what was coming.

Next, she needed to speak to her nieces. Seven years ago Erika had made a promise that she wouldn't abandon those girls. She was having to break her word. "Amelia, you have always been so sure of yourself, and I am so sorry that I couldn't keep the promise I made to you. Listen to Jonathan, he will always care for you."

"Carla, please continue being such a wonderful, intelligent person." She was so proud of her eldest niece, who had come so far in the seven years since her parents had died. She was twenty two years old, expecting her first child, and she hoped that this wouldn't change anything for her. "I will be watching over you and your baby along with your mom and dad. I love you all." She knew that they would all hear that, and know that she truly love her little family. She had done everything she could for all of them.

Now, there was only a final message to the man who had been by her side every day for twenty eight years. "Jonathan." This time she paused and looked straight at the recording device, sure that he would see that she knew this was the end, and that she was not going to make it out alive. She had so much more she wanted to say, but she knew she didn't have time. So she'd say the most she could in as few words as possible. "Thank you for being my whole heart and soul, I have loved you since the day we met, and nothing will ever change that. I just want you to be happy, and please, don't let the kids forget about me." That was all she was afraid of. That the children wouldn't remember her. She didn't care about anyone else, but she wanted them to know that she loved them. As the blinking light stopped flashing she realised this was it. There was no last minute rescue. This was all just going to end.

"There. I did it. Now I'm ready. It's time." She faced her death the same way she had faced every challenge she had ever known. Forward facing, eyes open, head held high. The faces of her family swam before her eyes, and in that moment all her tears dried up. She was loved, and had always been loved. The pain would only last a minute, then it would be over with. Jonathan would look after their family, she knew that, and right now that was the best she could hope for.

One moment passed, then another, and another. Then the darkness enveloped her and she realised there was absolutely no pain, no suffering. She was gone though, and there was no chance that she was ever going to wake up again and make it home.


End file.
